


A Letter in Return

by inkjoy



Series: The Note [2]
Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Another Letter, Communication, Fluff and Angst, Juno still needs a hug, Making Up, Other, Two Gays Learn To Talk About Their Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-02
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2021-01-18 19:41:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21282203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkjoy/pseuds/inkjoy
Summary: "When he turned around and flicked the light on, he noticed four things; the window that he had definitely closed and locked was now wide open, the breeze carried the scent of a very particular cologne and on the table in the centre of the room sat two things – a singular red rose which rested atop a folded piece of paper. A letter."A.K.A Peter writes his own note.
Relationships: Peter Nureyev/Juno Steel
Series: The Note [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1530413
Comments: 23
Kudos: 152





	1. Peter's letter

**Author's Note:**

> Hahaha wasn't gonna write any fic in November bc of Nano.  
I've already finished the second chapter of this part as well.  
Also this is a continuation of A Letter To Your Future, so you might be a bit confused if you don't read that first.

In the weeks since Miasma, and the tomb, and that damn hotel room and one Peter Nureyev, Juno hadn’t been doing so well.

To be frank ‘not doing well’ was putting it lightly. It was like saying the loss of his eye was a _slight inconvenience._He had tried to throw himself back into the rough and tumble life Hyperion City had to offer, yet every time he tried to focus on any of his cases, his mind ending up drifting back into thoughts he’d rather leave behind. He was only sleeping an hour or two a night, and if it wasn’t for Rita’s nagging, he doubted he’d be eating much either.

After yet another case where the perp had slipped away from him when his shot went wide, still not able to get a handle on his lack of depth perception, he had trudged home, planning for a long night of spending quality time with his bottle of whiskey.

It took a few tries to get the key in the door, a weary exhaustion having seeped right into his bones, making his movements feel heavy and sluggish. Juno dragged himself inside and closed the door behind him with a sigh of relief. When he turned around and flicked the light on, he noticed four things; the window that he had definitely closed and locked was now wide open, the breeze carried the scent of a very particular cologne and on the table in the centre of the room sat two things – a singular red rose which rested atop a folded piece of paper. A letter.  


  
“Nureyev?” Juno called out hesitantly, but there was no reply.

If the thief had been by, and it seemed likely, he must have already left again. Juno couldn’t exactly blame him for not wanting to hang around, except, why come at all? By now, Juno had figured Nureyev would be as far from Mars as possible, probably in some exotic new planet, undoubtedly stealing some exuberantly expensive item. Not leaving flowers and notes in the apartment of the lady who had left him in the night.

  
He shrugged off his jacket and put away his blaster before approaching the table. He circled it and stuck his head out the window, but Nureyev seemed long gone. For reasons he’d rather not consider, he left it open and stepped carefully over to the table, almost waiting for some sort of surprise to jump out at him. Nothing happened.

  
His heart beat hard in his chest and with trepidation he picked up the flower and admired it. It was perfect – not a single petal out of place. Without meaning too, his mind was thrown back to thoughts of a train and a heist and the names Duke and Dahlia Rose, and felt a pang of regret.

It was ridiculous what a single flower could make him feel. How it could bring back every moment, good and bad, and leave him aching beneath his ribcage.

He picked up the letter next but didn’t unfold it. On the front in Nureyev’s elegant scripture read Juno’s name. Juno felt scared of what he might find inside and what he might not. What would be worse, the scathing remarks of a jilted lover, or the pleading cries for a second chance? Neither seemed like something the man would write. He was never outright cruel, nor could he ever be emotionally dependent on a lady like Juno. But then again, Juno had left, so what right did he have to say that he knew what Nureyev was like at all?

He placed the letter on the coffee table in front of the couch and found a vase for the rose, telling himself he wasn’t putting off reading it, he just wanted to care for the flower now. It would be a shame for such a pretty thing to wilt too quickly.

Finally, with a glass of whiskey in one hand and wrapped in a blanket and curled up on his couch, he felt ready. He picked up the letter with shaking fingers and flipped it open. Inside was the same loopy writing, with its distinctive swoops and swirls dancing across the page. Juno swallowed hard.

_Juno,_

_I imagine you’re rather surprised to be reading a letter from me. Perhaps more surprised to have found it inside your own apartment when we both know I promised to leave Mars. Still, it felt impolite not to reply to the note you so kindly left for me._

Juno winced at the bitter tone. He did deserve it, but it didn’t make it sting any less.

_I would like to say a few things, and since you’ve made it quite clear that you did not want to have this conversation face to face, I suppose this will have to do._

_To be clear, dear Juno, despite what you may think I cannot begrudge you for changing your mind. You made your choice right after an… emotional time, to put it politely and it was unfair of me to try and hold you to promises you made under duress. So, for that, I apologise._

_And if I know you at all, I imagine right now you’re thinking that you are the one who needs to apologise. You did that already in your letter, dear. Now, it’s my turn to speak._

How did Nureyev always seem to know what he was thinking? It was if he took one look at him and read every thought he had ever had just in the quirk of his brow. It made Juno feel vulnerable, to be understood so deeply. After all, most people who dig a little deeper into who Juno was, beyond that dark comedy bravado he was so known for, didn’t exactly like what they found.

_As understandable as it was, you hurt me Juno. Deeply. I hadn’t realised just how much I had opened myself up to be wounded until that morning, where I was suddenly alone at the exact moment when I had decided I didn’t want to be. It was quite the upsetting experience, as I’m sure you can imagine. _

Juno could imagine. In the past few weeks it seemed as if he could do nothing but. Still, to hear it from the source, even just in writing, send shame racing through him.

_You’re probably wondering why I’m writing this letter at all. Whether I have some grand point I’m trying to make, or maybe if I’m calling to brag about how wonderful my life has been in your absence. I could tell you that, but it would be a lie, of course. It seems you’ve sunk your claws into me, and I still haven’t decided whether or not I want to free of them._

_If you had left without a note, perhaps I could have accepted that I meant nothing to you and could have collected myself and moved on._

_But your note, it makes me wonder._

_I gave you an ultimatum, and that is my own failing. It’s to be expected that you balked at the idea of leaving behind Mars, when everything and everyone you know is there. Everyone except me, that is._

_I guess what I am trying to say, my detective, is that I’m not ready for this to be over. If it ever was something, I’m sorry if I’m presuming. I can’t be sure that you haven’t already moved on, of course. And it’s terribly presumptuous of me to tell you all this, given that you literally snuck out of a room in the middle of the night to avoid me, but I suppose love makes fools of us all._

Juno’s breath caught in his throat. Nureyev surely couldn’t really… not after everything. It was ridiculous, inconceivable. Juno had pushed the man away, why would he still care? Why didn’t he just leave? The others always left.

_Yes, I said love. I still love you, Juno Steel. Some days I wish I didn’t, but mostly I just wished you loved me back. If I’m getting sentimental again, well, you’ve already left so what more do I have to lose?_

_At the bottom of this page, I have attached my details. If you wish to continue contact with me, even in just in emails, please do message me. This letter is a risk I must admit, and there’s a chance that you never will contact me, and I’ll be left the fool once again. But for you, it’s a risk that I am willing to take._

_And for the record, you do deserve me. You deserve the world, my dear, and I would be privileged to be the one to give it to you._

  
_Yours Always,_  


_Peter Nureyev._

Juno sniffled and wiped at his eyes. Then wiped them again. Then buried his face into the blanket and clutched at his shirt where it rested over his heart.

What did he do to deserve this? Juno pushed people away, he knew this, and almost no one ever pushed back. The few that had, like Mick and Rita, had stuck around and refused to leave and now he couldn’t imagine himself without them. And now Nureyev was there, pushing back and telling him that he wasn’t going away. Juno didn’t know how to feel. He was supposed to go away.

But he didn’t. And now all the feelings Juno had been suppressing came rushing back and he didn’t know whether he want to scream or laugh or cry some more.

Juno fumbled for his drink and his fingers grasped his comms instead. Picking it up, he considered what to do. It wasn’t much of a choice. There was only one person he could call. Swallowing, he called a familiar number and waited for the answer.

“Heya Boss! You need me for something? Oh, _ooohh_! Are you calling about the stream marathon starting in fifteen minutes? It’s about a lost princess and she’s got to fight this radioactive mongoose and – ”

“Rita.” Juno said, voice cracking. “You’re fired.”

A beat passed. “Are you at home right now, boss?”

Juno nodded, then remembered Rita couldn’t see him and sniffled, “yeah.”

“I’m on my way over right now,” Rita said, and he could hear the rustle of her moving over the phone line. “You just stay right where you are, Mistah Steel, and don’t be doing anything silly now.”

“Ok, Rita.” Juno whispered. He hung up the call and curled up into a ball on the couch and didn’t move until he heard door click open an indiscernible time later, and the distinctive slap of feet approaching him. The couch shifted under the weight of a new addition and a hand gently carded through his hair.

“Hey, Mistah Steel.” Rita said softly.

“Hey Rita.” Juno mumbled through the blanket.

“Are you doing okay?” She asked, still combing through his hair. The touch was a soothing palm for his inflamed-feeling heart.

Juno hummed noncommittedly. He levered himself up with a groan and they both shifted around until Rita was settled, back against the couch, and Juno was curled into her side. It wasn’t often he allowed himself this sort of contact with anyone, but right now he needed someone he trusted to lean on.

“Do you wanna have a ladies night? We can put on a stream and eat some snacks, how does that sound?” Rita asked.

It would be easy to say yes. They had done it before and he knew it would make him feel better. But it wasn’t what he wanted tonight.

“Actually…” Juno said. He bit his lip.

Rita tugged him down until his head rested across her lap, and she went back to playing with his hair. Juno relaxed into the contact and closed his good eye.

“Rita, you know how I disappeared for a bit?”

Rita made an affirmative sound. “You mean how you vanished without leaving a note for anyone, let alone your poor secretary, and didn’t come back for weeks and when you did you were missing an eye and refused to say anything about it. Do you mean that time, boss?” Her voice was as preppy as ever, but Juno winced at the hidden barb. It seemed he was getting a lot of those tonight.

“Yeah, that time,” he said sheepishly. “I think I’m ready to talk about it, if you want to hear.”

“Of course, Mistah Steel,” Rita said encouragingly, whenever you’re ready.”

Juno took a deep breath and steadied himself. “Well, first of all, do you remember Rex Glass?”


	2. Bridging the gap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2! or as I like to call it: two dumb gays learn to communicate.

Juno woke up in the morning with a crick in his neck and a weight off his shoulders. The scent of coffee was in the air and he dragged himself upwards from the couch in search of it, lured by the humming originating from his kitchen. He found a cup waiting for him on the kitchen counter and Rita at the stove, pushing something around in a pan.

“Morning Mistah Steel!” She greeted him brightly, already buzzing with energy, like a bee trapped in a glass flittering back and forth. “Good timing, the eggs are almost ready.”

Juno blinked. “I had eggs?”

“You do now,” She said, pulling the pan off the stove and dishing in out on two plates, ready and waiting and loaded with toast. “I went out this morning. Honestly boss, you need to keep your fridge better stocked. The only thing I could find was a can of pea soup that went out of date four years ago.”

Juno winced; he didn’t even like peas. “Sorry about that Rita. You didn’t have to do all this.”

“Well, course I didn’t. But I wanted too, getting your daily nutrition is important, you know. And you’ve got a big day ahead of you.” A plate was pushed in front of him. “Now eat up.”

Juno ate. The eggs were surprisingly good and the coffee was even better. He finished the plate before he realised it and was reminded that he hadn’t been eating very well lately. It had been another thing he hadn’t had the energy to bother with.

“Thanks.” He said genuinely as he finished.

Rita beamed at him. “You’re very welcome, Mistah Steel, it was my pleasure. Now, are we going to talk about your problem with you-know-who?” She leaned forward and stared him down. For someone who barely reached his shoulder, she had always been surprising intimidating when she wanted to be.

Juno hunched over in his seat a little. “Do we have too?”

“Of course we do!” She cried, pointing a fork at him. “You said you left Mistah Glass or whoever-his-name-is while he was sleeping, and he still left you a letter where he confessed his love for the second time. You can’t leave him hanging like that, Mistah Steel. Not when I know you have feelings for him too.”

“You don’t know that.” He grumbled, despite the heat creeping onto his cheeks.

Rita looked at him and raised an eyebrow. “I’ve known you a very long time, boss. I think I know when you have feelings for someone.”

“Well— I— it’s—okay fine,” Juno amended, “Maybe I have feelings for him. But don’t you think he’d be better off without me? I’ve already hurt him. What’s to stop me from doing it again?” Juno swallowed uneasily, reminded of past relationships where he had been in a similar position to Peter, “What if I hurt him again, and again, and he still doesn’t leave. I don’t want to do that.”

“Then don’t.” She said simply.

“Rita…”

“Well, I mean, you’re going to hurt him sometimes, it’s inevitable. And he’ll probably hurt you too. No relationship is perfect. Except this one between a lizard woman and her servant that I saw on a stream the other week and—”

“Rita.” Juno said again, sighing.

“Right, sorry boss.” She waved her hand through the air, as if shooing away her previous thoughts. “What I’m trying to say is that as long as you try not to hurt him and apologise when you do, I think you’ll be okay.”

Juno picked at the sleeve of his shirt. “What if he decides that I’m not worth it anymore. The others did.”

“Oh, boss. Anyone who decides that you aren’t worth it must be crazy in the head, because you’re the best person I know and if they can’t see it then they’re the ones who aren’t worth a second – no, a millisecond – of your time. Any if your man decides you ain’t worth it, then you tell me and I’ll make sure he regrets it.” Her eyes glinted behind her glasses, and Juno felt a stab of relief that he had never really been on her bad side.

“Thanks Rita I – wait, he’s not my man.” Juno spluttered.

“Not yet.” Rita said wisely. “If you call him up today he might be though. He left you his number, didn’t he?”

Nureyev had left his number, and his email, letting Juno choose whether he wanted to speak out loud or choose the easy option and just type something out. The thing was, Juno had already chosen the easy option once when he left. And now Nureyev had gone and left him this, had thrown his heart out on the line for the second time in as many weeks with no assurance Juno wouldn’t break it once more. Juno thought he could choose the hard option just this once.

“I’ll call him.” Juno said decisively. Then added, “after another coffee. And maybe a drink.”

“_Mistah Steel_.” Rita said sternly.

Juno sighed. “Fine, fine. Once I finish this coffee then.”

“Boss, you already have finished your cup.” Rita pointed out. Juno glanced down, so he had. Well, damn.

“Do you want me to stay while you call?” She asked.

“Thanks Rita, but I think I need to do this on my own.” He said.

Rita looked so proud she was close to bursting. “I think this will be real good for you boss, just you wait.” She stood up and left her plate by the sink, and then collected her things.

“You think?” Juno asked.

Rita nodded decisively. “I’m real sure. Now you call me if you need me, boss.”

“I will.” Juno smiled down at her, small but genuine. “Thanks Rita. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“You’d be a mess.” She said easily. “Luckily you have me, then.” She ducked in close and squeezed him around the waist.

He allowed himself a moment to hug back, appreciating the contact more than he would admit.

Rita pulled away and waved cheerily, “Bye-bye now. See you at work on Monday,” then she vanished out the door, leaving Juno alone once more.

Juno migrated back to the couch. Calling from his bedroom felt too strange for their first contact after everything that had happened. Not that Nureyev would know he was calling from his bedroom unless it came up naturally and if it did, well, Juno would have a whole separate type of thoughts and anyway he doubted the call was going to go in that direction, so he had nothing to worry about. Probably.

His hands shook, and his heart pounded in his chest, but he was determined to do this. He called and squeezed his eyes shut, every second of waiting had his chest constricting in fear. Then, a beep.

“Hello Juno,” came the smooth dulcet voice from his comms. He spoke as if it was any other call, on any other day. As if Juno did this all the time, and it wasn’t maybe the beginning of something so big Juno could barely comprehend it.

Juno’s breath stuttered, and his lungs heaved. He coughed once before reminding himself that he had to breathe, “Hey, Nureyev,” he said, voice coming out only slightly above a whisper.

“You called,” Nureyev said, and was that a hint of disbelief he could hear? “I’m… glad.”

Juno suddenly realised that Nureyev was just as nervous as he was. Maybe more. After all, Juno had largely been the reluctant party here. As far as he knew, there was always the possibility that Juno was only calling to tell him he wasn’t interested. It was a relief for Juno to know he wasn’t alone in these feelings.

“Me too,” he said. “Nureyev, I… I’m really sorry. I don’t think I can say that enough.” He was gripping the comms so hard it felt like it would shatter, and took a second to consciously loosen his grip.

There was a pause. A few seconds of deliberating silence. “I know, and I’m willing to let the past lay if you are interested in moving forward. Unless you’re apologising because you’re still not…” Nureyev trailed off uncertain.

“No, no I am.” Juno said hurriedly. “I mean, I’m not, not interested and—” he cut himself off with a groan and tried again. “I know I couldn’t have gone with you, and I needed to leave. But I don’t want you to think it was easy, leaving you. And when I got your note, and you said, well you said a lot of things, but you still wanted to try, even after I hurt you… You make me want to try too.”

“Good. Good!” Nureyev seemed to perk up at his admission, some of his usual confidence creeping back into his voice. “I admit, chasing after someone who had so solidly tried to shut the door on us was a risk I am decidedly not used to. It was, more intimidating than I anticipated. But for you, my dear detective, it was worth it.”

Juno felt very thankful Nureyev wasn’t in front of him when his cheeks flamed. Past the embarrassment, there was another kind of warmth. One growing in his chest that made him duck his head and smile.

“I don’t know if I believe that, yet.” He admitted. “Because, in the past…” He licked his lips nervously. Last night Rita had told him to be honest, but baring his soul and his past had never come easy to him. Normally he wouldn’t even consider it, except Nureyev had already given so much of himself to Juno. He deserved to know these things.

“Take you time, Juno.” Nureyev said gently, perhaps sensing the turn in the conversation.

Juno took a deep breath and forced the words out. “The truth is in the past, the kind of relationships I’ve been in weren’t _great,_to say the least. And most of them left me, because they got tired and didn’t care enough to stay around, because I wasn’t worth staying around for. So, I thought, that night, that if I couldn’t stay with you and travel the stars it was better to just leave. That way I didn’t have to watch you fall out of love with me too. But even after I pushed you away, you came back, and to be honest I still feel like I’m waiting for you to decide I’m too much trouble, but god Nureyev, I really want this to work.”

There was the sound of muffled movement over the line. Juno held his breath, waiting for Nureyev to speak.

Then, a knock at his window.

He looked up startled and there he was. Hovering with one leg over the windowsill, that was oddly reminiscent of their first meeting, and looking like a dream. Hair loose and falling into his eyes, smile a little uncertain with his fox’s teeth still poking out from hiding, and overall more dishevelled than Juno had seen him before, with the exception of the long days trapped in Miasma’s tomb. All in all, the most Juno’s mind could muster was that he looked every bit as beautiful as he remembered.

“You’re here.” Juno said dumbly.

“I’m here.” Nureyev said, smiling a little. “Is that okay?”

“Yes.” Juno said immediately, “wait how long have you been out there?”

Nureyev slipped fully into the room and didn’t answer. He would have pressed if his mind could function beyond trying to remember how to stand. As Juno went to try and scramble to his feet, he was waved back down and Nureyev joined him on the couch; close enough there was a few scant inches between them but he was enveloped with that tantalising cologne that haunted his dreams.

“Juno,” Nureyev said. “I am sorry that your past relationships made you feel like you can’t believe me when I say this, but I truly care about you, and right now I don’t think there is a single thing that you could do that would make me change my mind. After all, you left me and I still…” his hands clench in his lap. “Anyway, my dear, I would be honoured to be the person to prove you wrong.”

“I’d like that,” Juno said. He tentatively reached over with one hand and rested it on top of Nureyev’s. The man pulled his hands away and Juno nearly ripped his own away in a panic in the time it took Nureyev to flip one of his hands over, so their fingers fit together and intertwined.

“Thank you for telling me about your past. I know how hard that is for you,” he said. “I can’t say I’ve had the same experiences. To be honest, I’m not sure I’ve ever been in a relationship that wasn’t related to a mission, so forgive me if I stumble sometimes while I’m learning how this works. I’ve certainly never dated anyone as Peter Nureyev,” his voice was light, yet his face gave him away. Fear and resolve lingered in his eyes equal measure, a quirk of his lips spoke of unspoken stories, and the crease in his brow made Juno ache to smooth it away.

And so he did. His free hand reached out and cupped the side of Nureyev’s face as gentle as if he were made of glass. His thumb smoothed away the lines causing his brows to dip until they relaxed, and his hand slid down to gently grasp his jaw.

Juno felt brave with the knowledge that this was something new and special for both of them. “I’m honoured to be your first,” he teased, but the truth of the words shown through.

Nureyev laughed, “Oh, Juno. You’re my first of so many things.”

With his hold, he tilted Nureyev’s face down, and saw the widening of his eyes. Juno didn’t hesitate, just pressed his lips against the man’s forehead, lingering for a long moment. When he finally pulled away he stopped to rest their foreheads together. This close, he could feel Nureyev’s breath against his skin, and the warmth of his cheeks.

“Oh, Juno.” Nureyev whispered, voice cracking.

He wanted to dip his head a little further, press those lips against his own and let their bodies carry away the hurt they both felt. He pulled away instead, until the only contact between them was their tightly clasped hands. It wasn’t time for that yet. First, they needed to heal, and grow together. To take things slow where it had been so rushed before.

They had so much more to discuss. How they would work, for one, with Juno constrained to Mars and Nureyev to everywhere and anywhere that caught his fancy. There was also the fact that the man was a thief and Juno’s job was generally to arrest criminals. But that was a problem for another day. Right now, Juno was strangely content to just sit there and hold onto Nureyev’s hand, feel the warmth and his strong grip and admire his spindly fingers and just _be_, for once.

Firstly though, “Okay, seriously. Where you just waiting outside my window all morning? What about last night. Please tell me you didn’t spend the night hanging out on my fire escape, Nureyev. Hey, answer me. I need to know. _Nureyev!_”

The man in question didn’t reply. He was too busy laughing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we are! Still more parts to come as well. 
> 
> Also y'all how about that new episode omg. No spoilers here but whoo boy I kinda wanted to include some things I learnt in this chapter but that will have to wait. 
> 
> Let me know what you thought!

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if you enjoyed it! There are still several parts to come.


End file.
